An effective leader must be a people person.

But what is a people person. Some expect a people person to be highly sociable, perhaps even gregarious. You know this type. At an event, they know everyone and make the rounds having small talk with as many people as possible.

Others might describe a people person as one with charisma, one to whom other people are attracted. This person draws others by their charm, presence, or force of personality. When this person walks into the room, people take notice.

This is not a negative view of either trait of sociability or charisma. Both of these traits can serve people well, especially so with leaders. These traits can open the door to leader/follower relationships, but they are not sufficient for building a solid and successful relationship.

There is a different definition of a people person that is truly necessary for the most effective leader. Because leadership is a relationship built upon mutual trust and respect, the interpersonal skills and traits are those necessary for building this relationship of trust and respect. People are generally not quick to award a leader trust and respect. It must be earned over time and under fire by demonstrating that it is truly deserved. A leader’s life, their character and practices, must be tested to prove worthiness of this relationship of trust and respect.

This “people person” leader must demonstrate character traits and leadership skills, such as the following, that draw people into this relationship by enabling them to build, over time and through a process, the trust and respect necessary.

Character Traits of a “People Person” Leader

• They value people – A people person recognizes the value in every person. They can be described as affectionate or caring towards the people with whom they interact.
• They are humble – A people person does not regard himself/herself as better or more important than those around them. Just the opposite, they are selfless or self-giving, placing the interests and importance of others above their own interests.
• They are considerate of others – A people person is kind and courteous towards others. They take an interest in the person, not just the task at hand. They are sensitive to the feelings, beliefs, and emotions of others. They take the time to engage and understand.
• They demonstrate faith in others – A people person is thoughtful towards others. They are willing to trust others until that trust is proven not to be deserved. They have an interest in the other person’s future and seek to help them along the way.

Some Important Skills of a “People Person” Leader

• They are communicators – A people person is a communicator. They speak and write well and otherwise know how to convey thoughts and information. But equally, if not more importantly, they are great listeners. They know how to listen actively so as to draw out the full story, not just the facts on the surface, but the underlying background and emotions.
• They are strong in emotional intelligence – A people person not only is strong at understanding and managing their own emotions, but also at understanding and dealing with the emotions of the other. They are able to pick up on the indicators, both verbal and non-verbal, and then to lean in to better understand and assist the other in dealing with their emotions.
• They are authentic and vulnerable – A people person is able to be fully human, so that those around them feel comfortable and confident that they can relate to the leader on common ground. They are able to let their guard down and let those around them see both their strengths and weaknesses. While confident in their overall person, they are aware of weaknesses and mistakes and see no need to pretend that there are none.

With a strong bond of trust and respect, team members are quick to embrace a common vision and then to work hard together to achieve it. In such a culture, people are ready to run through walls to achieve the leader’s/team’s vision and objectives. The results achieved by such a team far exceed those achieved by a work group that is driven by a taskmaster or a group that feels it necessary to play politics and backstab each other.

Do you have the character and skills needed to build a relationship of trust and respect?