Ken Vaughan – Page 7 – New Horizon Partners

Caution: Be Sure Brain Is in Gear Before Engaging Mouth

One of the most common causes of failures in communication is allowing our mouths to take action prior to our brain having its say. This happens most often in highly emotional interactions but can happen in any conversation if we are too casual in speaking.

That old saying of “look before you leap” has its parallel, “think before you speak” in conversations.

The all-too-common scenario in emotionally-charged conversations goes like this: We are approached by someone with a complaint or criticism, who makes an angry or derisive statement. The limbic system of our brain, the portion responsible for reflexes, wants to charge ahead in protective mode, by making a reaction in a similar or greater level of anger. The reaction is likely to simply be a verbal counterattack on the other person. A reflexive reaction is not likely to be a thoughtful response to the issue presented but, rather, a personal attack or a defensive counter argument.

Even without the high emotions, our conversations can cause damage. Think of some possible scenarios of commenting without giving it much thought:

As someone finishes a crash project requiring several hours of hard work, we mention that there would have been a much simpler and better solution.
Someone seems distracted in a meeting, so we point out that we need everyone’s attention, without remembering that the person is facing a crisis in an extended family situation.
During a conversation with several participants contributing thoughts, we, as the leader, suddenly blurt out, “Here’s what we’ll do.”

“We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.” – Winston Churchill

It is important to think before we speak because our words can have various effects. We want to manage our words for maximum positive effect. Here are just of the few ways that words can affect others and our relationship with them:

Words can energize or demotivate.
Words can draw people in or push them away.
Words can open up thoughts or shut them down.
Words can heal or harm.
Words can invite gentleness or harshness.
Words can build or tear down.
Words can inspire, encourage, comfort, edify, soothe, teach, instruct, guide, admonish, explain, provide insight, pass on wisdom, etc. Words can also tear down, destroy, diminish, minimize, criticize, demean, abuse, intimidate, accuse, blame, defame, etc.

Think before you speak. There are three questions that are useful in guiding our thought process and shaping the words that we speak.

Is it true? While most of us do not intentionally tell lies, we can often catch ourselves saying things that are not fully factual. Asking this question should weed out rumors, gossip, exaggeration of facts to satisfy our ego, opinions about people, etc. It also forces the question about authenticity in our communication, are we speaking from who we truly are?

Is it necessary? Asking this question, forces us to examine the value added through the words we are about to speak. This screens out complaining, whining, negative comments, and insults. (See articles on effective feedback for tips on providing suggestions or expectations regarding needed improvement.) The comment under consideration may also be necessary but not for the given time, place, or audience.

Is it kind? Do the words that you are about to say convey respect, compassion, empathy, and graciousness to the audience? Even in communicating reproof or correction, the phrasing and tone that we use can convey compassion. This question should stop us short of making comments intended to hurt or belittle, even in a highly emotional discussion.

Only when we have thought through these questions should we speak or respond. With continual practice, these questions can become a pattern of communication. With such a pattern, we can reinforce rather than damage a relationship of trust and respect that is vital to effective leadership.

Do you make it a habit to speak wisely and graciously to those around you? Are your words based on thought to produce positive effect?

Here are some previous articles on similar topics:

“React or Respond” speaks about the difference between a quick emotional reaction and a thoughtful, gracious response.
“Press the Pause Button” speaks about hearing, understanding, and responding in discussions.
“Leaders Speak Last” is a caution about allowing the powerful voice of a leader to drown out the voices of the team members.

First Step for Feedback: Notice

Providing feedback is an important part of leadership. Feedback aligns the actions and behaviors of team members with the vision for the organization. Team members long for feedback. Affirmation and appreciation are good but people welcome corrective feedback when it is presented well. People want to know how they are doing.

Feedback is more than a leadership skill; it is a life skill. Feedback is an important part of any relationship. Feedback is an especially important tool for parenting.

We should be providing feedback many times each day to all of the people with whom we interact. But here is the first problem: we are in such a hurry, moving from one project to another, running from one meeting to another, or just focused on all of the things that we need or want to accomplish, that we do not take the time to notice the actions or behaviors around us. There are constantly actions or behaviors happening right in front of us, but we are moving on to the next thing. So often we are too busy to notice the actions and behaviors that are taking place around us. We don’t take the time to notice and give feedback.

Another human weakness is the general behavior of not noticing all of the things going right; only when things go wrong (and often only when badly wrong) do we pay attention.

Take a moment to think about some of the many recent things that deserved feedback, but none was given. Maybe you just came from a meeting where someone gave a great presentation. Did you give some feedback that identified the best specific parts of the presentation? Or maybe the presentation lacked something. Did you identify the shortfalls, so that the presenter can do better next time? How many reports did you read today or this week? Did you provide some specific feedback to the authors? As you walk around the organization you see people doing work, some well and some not so well. How many times have you given them feedback? Are you noticing what is happening in your organization?

Let’s think now about feedback outside of work. How often do we see parents who only complain about or criticize the behavior of their children? Often it is not even what we would call feedback, but just general criticism. How much better would the parent – child relationship be if the parent gave feedback, both for the things done well and for the specific actions and behaviors that they wish to see improved. But they aren’t noticing much of the behavior.

Personally, one of the things that I try to do is to provide feedback or express my appreciation to those attendants or custodians who keep the roadside rest stops clean. I appreciate clean restrooms and there seem to be two alternatives for keeping them clean. One is to clean them myself (a task that I would certainly not prefer), the other is to encourage those attendants to continue doing the job well. So I make it a point to notice and express my appreciation for cleanliness in order to encourage him or her to keep it going.

As mentioned earlier, people crave feedback. They want to know how their performance is perceived. They want to know that they are valued, and they want to grow and improve. Feedback guides actions and behaviors towards a longer-term vision. Perhaps most importantly, feedback, when done well, can build the relationship of trust and respect that is the foundation of leadership.

Providing effective feedback is more than a quick “Great job” or “Keep it up.” Feedback involves identifying specific action or behaviors, describing the impact both to you personally and to the organization or at a higher level, and set the expectations for the future in terms of more of, less of, or keep it up. See the articles “Three Steps of Effective Feedback” and “Ten Tips for Effective Feedback” to learn more about giving feedback that makes a difference and builds your relationships.

But the first thing we must do is to open our eyes and to build the habit of noticing.

Do you have the habit of noticing, both of the positive and the negative? How many times have you given effective feedback today?

The Smartest Person in the Room?

As a leader, if you are the smartest person in the room, you need to find some smarter people.

It’s true that intelligence is important for effective leadership. It is helpful in making good decisions. It is helpful in building strong, positive relationships. It is helpful in identifying the right questions to ask. But does the leader need to be the smartest person in the room? Even if he or she is, they are best off if they don’t always show it.

Constantly being the smartest person in the room robs your team of effectiveness. There are three common scenarios for trap of the leader as the font of knowledge:

One common driver of knowledge from on high is expediency. A leader might feel that discussion or seeking input from others is simply a waste of valuable time. “Why not just get to the bottom line and move on?” Therefore, the leader is quick to offer his/her opinion.

A second common scenario is based on volume. If the leader tends to continually have the loudest (literally or figuratively) or most important voice in the room, then other voices deem themselves to be unimportant and are therefore mute. If there is only one voice that has importance, then it must be the smartest voice in the room.

A third scenario is the leader that is driven by ego. To admit that other voices might have greater knowledge or even any relative value would be an affront to the ego-driven self-importance. Therefore, this leader must only value his/her own voice. In fact, this sort of person often belittles other voices in the room to soothe his/her own ego.

There are lots of reasons why any of these scenarios are damaging to the organization. Here are just a few:

Not valuing the knowledge of others will drive away capable and intelligent people. The organization is then left with less capability in its people.
Even if they don’t leave, overpowering the voice of people leaves them disengaged and dissatisfied. Therefore, people will be less productive.
We should all be seeking to learn and grow. One of the ways to do so is to consistently seek to share in the knowledge of others.
There is knowledge and wisdom in the group. By sharing, discussing, even debating ideas, the team is likely to find greater or better answers than even the smartest person in the room could provide on their own.
By encouraging discussion and by valuing equally all members of the team, the cohesiveness of the team grows. The strength of the team leads to unity and collaboration, resulting in higher performance of the overall organization.
Effective leadership is built on a relationship of trust and respect. One of the character traits that leads to this relationship is humility. Obviously, the leader who only values his/her own intelligence is not demonstrating the humility required to effectively lead.

Research has shown that the most effective leaders tend to be above average in intelligence but not extremely so. Perhaps this is because those extreme eggheads often have a difficult time relating to others. They too quickly fall into the traps described above.

The lesson for leaders here is not so much a matter of knowledge or intelligence. Rather, the lesson is about character and relationships. Effective leaders value and respect others; they demonstrate this respect in the humility that guides their interactions. Effective leaders want to grow themselves but have an even greater desire to help others to grow and develop. Therefore, the best leaders draw out the knowledge of others and make it a point to not consistently appear as the smartest person in the room.

Is your intelligence a strength or a weakness in your leadership? Do you strive to be the smartest person in the room or are you comfortable drawing out the knowledge of those around you?

Learning Agility Builds Leadership Ability

In case you haven’t noticed, the world is changing and the pace of change is forever increasing. New technologies are replacing previous technologies. Whole new industries are being created while others disappear. Career paths and job skills are often becoming rapidly obsolete. The speed of change increasingly demands that both businesses and people become more flexible and adaptable in order to survive and thrive in the business world.

Learning agility has always been an important skill of leaders but the current pace of change is making it one of the most essential. Learning agility is the ability and willingness to learn from experience and then apply that learning to successfully perform under new situations. We cannot know today what changes will happen tomorrow and how they will impact what we need to know to survive in the future. However, if we are strong in learning agility, we have the flexibility, adaptability, resourcefulness, and thoughtfulness to react well to changing situations and to be successful, no matter what life throws at us.

The speed of change increasingly demands that both businesses and people become more flexible and adaptable in order to survive and thrive in the business world.

Those who are learning agile are comfortable with the uncomfortable, able to face uncertainty and accept risks, observant and continually making connections between experience and results, flexible and ready to try new ideas, open to and seeking new thoughts, and confident in their abilities based on their experience. This willingness to take on risks and challenges is not reckless but is built on confidence and track record.

We can further break down this ability to learn from experience and the application of learning to new situations into five elements of learning agility:

Mental Agility – The learning agile leader is skilled at critical thinking and able to analyze complex problems and continually make fresh connections between bits of information, experience, and results. They are able to draw conclusions and predict results based on their information and learning.
People Agility – The learning agile leader is able to relate well to others; collaboration is strong, drawing out the experiences of others, and helping others draw conclusions and learn. They seek feedback and are open to input from others. They recognize that the information gathered from others is often not simply black or white, but falls into some shade of grey. Thus they are able to make good judgements about value and veracity.
Change Agility – The learning agile leader is comfortable with the uncomfortable. They seek challenges and learning opportunities, enjoy experimentation, and are able to weigh and accept risks. They seek alternative processes and ways of thinking rather than status quo.
Results Agility – The learning agile leader is able to deliver results in first-time situations; they inspire teams to perform in the face of uncertainty. They accept responsibility for mistakes and view them as learning and growth opportunities.
Self-Awareness – The learning agile leader is reflective. They know themselves well, understanding strengths and weaknesses and using every opportunity to grow. They are well aware of their impact on others and are willing to question others and be questioned themselves.

Change is impacting every business at every level. Leaders need to hone their own learning agility as well as build it into members of their organization. Only by doing so can we prepare ourselves and our team members for the future. Building learning agility in ourselves and in others can be accomplished through the following steps:

Be inquisitive – Ask questions of yourself and others such as: “Is there another alternative?” “What else do I need to think about in this decision?” “What are 10 more ways I could approach this?” Learning agile leaders don’t get stuck in SOP (standard operating procedure) or NIH (not invented here).
Be proactive – Look for patterns in complex situations. Practice active listening, using the phrase, “Tell me more.” Be a sponge, soaking in information from a wide range of sources.
Be reflective – Look back on decisions and understand the process, what was known and what was not known. Think through the “what-ifs” of decisions and actions. Seek input, asking for specific feedback. Ask, “What are three or four things I or we could have done better here?”
Be courageous – Take risks and be willing to experiment. Look for “stretch assignments,” where the probability of success isn’t a given, either for yourself or as developmental opportunities for team members.
Don’t be defensive – Acknowledge your failures, perhaps from those stretch assignments, and capture the lessons you’ve learned from them. Frame mistakes and failures— either your own or those of team members — as learning opportunities and gather all the learning possible.

Learning agility is essential for leadership because it provides the ability for timely and solid decisions as the world changes around us. It provides confidence to team members, as they trust in leadership and follow the model displayed. As you and your team members improve your learning agility, your organization can become more adaptable and better able to respond to business volatility, therefore becoming more competitive in the face of unprecedented challenges.

(Note: This article, or one very similar, was originally published in a monthly leadership blog that I wrote for PolymerOhio Manufacturing Solutions.)

Just the Way They Are

Meeting for breakfast with a friend and former co-worker recently, the conversation turned to a certain leader with whom we were both familiar. This leader had built a family of successful companies. It was easy to attribute the success of these companies to the culture and, in turn, to trace the culture to the character of this leader. The companies were all successful because the people within them worked hard to make them successful and they worked hard because they would follow this leader wherever he asked them to go. We observed that the people in all of his companies were eager to follow him because of his great leadership and that this leadership was not something that he had needed to learn. Almost in unison we both said, “The way that he leads is just the way he is.”

With so many of the great leaders that I know, their leadership feels easy to them because the way that they lead is just a natural result of who they are, or the character within them. Their leadership is easy for their followers to accept because it is clearly authentic, the way that they behave is who they really are.

What are some of the characteristics of these great leaders? Here are a few of the most important traits of some of the great leaders that I know:

They are authentic – Great leaders don’t need to learn a bunch of leadership skills. When they come to work in the morning, they don’t need to put on their leadership hat. Great leaders lead from who they are. They have characters traits that lend themselves to building relationships and demonstrating that they are genuine in caring about the about the people around them. On the other hand, authentic leaders are easy to follow because their team members know that they are genuine. Team members can trust these leaders because they know that what they see on the outside is who the leader is on the inside.

They are humble – Great leaders naturally stand out from the crowd but they don’t regard themselves as above the people around them. They are quick to give credit and show appreciation for all that is done by others. They are willing to roll up their sleeves and do their part in any task. Team members therefore feel valued as equals.

They respect and value others. – Closely related to humility, great leaders demonstrate their respect for each person. When interacting with those around them, they are interested in the whole person, both in the part that comes to work and the part that lives outside the workplace. Great leaders understand and accept the strengths and weaknesses of those around them and know what is important to them. Great leaders genuinely care about the person within each team member, so they have an interest in their family, their health, their satisfaction, and their long-term career development.

They demonstrate high emotional intelligence – Great leaders are strong in all areas of emotional intelligence – understanding and managing their own emotions, understanding the emotions of others, and building or managing relationships. This may be a natural outflow of the value that they place on others, but great leaders have a way of being aware and in control of their own emotions and are adept at finding ways to relate positively with those around them.

These four traits seem to be foundational for great leaders. Other important traits are natural extensions of these four, qualities such as honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, openness, conscientiousness, and so on. And, of course, great leaders of organizations also demonstrate high intelligence, strong common sense and wisdom, and decisiveness.

Great leaders often make leadership look easy and natural because it simply flows from who they are. If you do not yet have these same character traits, they can be developed with some deep character work.

What other traits do you see in great leaders? Where do you stand in terms of these traits?

What Is Organizational Culture?

We have all most likely heard of organizational culture. Often called company culture or corporate culture, depending on the type of organization to which we refer, culture can be considered as the environment within the organization. Organizational or corporate culture is the pervasive values, beliefs and attitudes that characterize a company and guide its practices, especially those around how we treat people, whether they are people within the organization or those with whom the organization interacts.

Businessdictionary.com offers an extensive definition of organizational culture, as follows:
“The values and behaviors that contribute to the unique social and psychological environment of an organization. Organizational culture includes an organization’s expectations, experiences, philosophy, and values that hold it together, and is expressed in its self-image, inner workings, interactions with the outside world, and future expectations. It is based on shared attitudes, beliefs, customs, and written and unwritten rules that have been developed over time and are considered valid. Also called corporate culture, it’s shown in
(1) the ways the organization conducts its business, treats its employees, customers, and the wider community,
(2) the extent to which freedom is allowed in decision making, developing new ideas, and personal expression,
(3) how power and information flow through its hierarchy, and
(4) how committed employees are towards collective objectives.”

Every organization has a culture, whether it be intentionally determined, or happenstance based on the practices and behaviors of leadership and the people within the organization. For large, multi-location organizations, the culture of each location can be a blend of an overall corporate culture and the culture of the individual office or site.

An organization’s culture is often described by the same sort of words used to describe the personality or character of people. In fact, culture generally correlates with the character and personality of the leadership. We might hear culture described as some combination of words such as the following: fast-paced, results-oriented, uncaring, quality-focused, highly political, customer-focused, committed to truth, innovative, shifty, committed to the bottom line, seeking the best for people, etc.

Culture is an important determinant of business success. Culture determines the organizational environment and, therefore, affects the organization’s productivity and performance, and provides guidelines on customer care and service, product quality and safety, attendance and punctuality, and concern for the environment.

How intentional are you regarding your organization’s culture? Is it contributing to success or inhibiting your organization’s success?

Press the Pause Button

Dealing with Negative Emotions Maturely

We are created with emotions for a purpose. At any point in time, there are a variety of emotions operating in the background. We might have joy about the development of our children, concern about our relationship with our spouse, fear about the meeting we must lead today, anger about something someone said yesterday, etc. All of these emotions can be active at the same time, if they are operating at a low level. When our body notices significant stimuli, one emotion might become prominent and might take control of our bodily reflexes.

Emotions are designed to provide us with three elements –

Arousal – emotions grab our attention and prompt us to take notice of things around us or within us that are impacting our lives.
Motivation – emotions prompt us to take action. In the case of positive emotions, we might be prompted to write a note, buy a gift, etc. In the case of what are termed negative emotions, such as anger or fear, we are designed to take immediate protective action.
Feelings – emotions add texture to our lives.

When we are confronted with significant negative emotions (so called because they sense danger, not because the emotion itself is negative), our bodies are designed to be self-protective. When the body (actually the limbic system of our brain) senses a threat, be it a flying projectile, a slip of a foot on ice, or a verbal threat, the limbic system takes control of our brain and our bodies. Heart rate increases, blood flows to our legs, muscles tense up, all intended to prepare for the fight or flight response. In order to concentrate energy and speed up response time, our thinking brain, the cortex, actually shuts down. If you have ever said or heard, “I was so angry, I couldn’t think straight,” that is entirely true.

If we are actually in a life-threatening situation, such as walking down a sidewalk when a vehicle careens out of control, or tripping on an uneven surface, we are thankful that our limbic system takes control because it is possible that our thinking brain could not have responded quickly enough to safeguard us. But there are other situations where this reflexive call to action can actually do us harm.

In the workplace or in any relationship, a similar process can happen when we hear angry words or someone makes a comment that we view as a threat to our authority or position. If there is an actual threat to our physical safety, we can be glad for the reflexive response. However, if we are simply facing a verbal confrontation, allowing the limbic system of our brain to take control and shut down our thinking process is likely to result in a heated exchange or in a statement that you regret later. Allowing our limbic system to control our response is likely to damage a relationship. As a leader, our goal is to build understanding and to build relationship. Therefore, when we encounter a discussion of high emotion, we need to intentionally quiet our reflexive limbic system and fully engage our thinking cortex system.

To keep our reflexive or reactive system quiet in an emotional discussion, we might train ourselves to respond in the following steps, intentionally forcing our thinking brain into gear:

Hear the words or observe the action clearly.
Ask yourself what sorts of emotions you are feeling because of this discussion. Before we can understand or manage our emotions, we must first name them.
Seek to understand the source of these emotions. Something about the comment may have brought up a subconscious memory from your family of origin or from some other prior life experience that resulted in high emotions, and you are being triggered.
Ask yourself what story you are telling yourself about what is happening in this discussion. Our brain is continually creating subconscious stories to make sense of the inputs it receives. Those stories are influenced by our mindset and past experiences. We frequently respond based on an assumption of the story without ever understanding the true story.
Once you understand the biases that you hold because of your emotional response and the story playing in your brain, you may be ready to engage in the conversation.
Seek clarification by asking questions like, “Tell me more.” Use the responsive listening techniques of reflecting, rephrasing, and reframing. Seek to understand both the words and the background, the story, for this discussion.
Provide a thoughtful response, even if it is only a statement such as, “I understand your concerns.” If we can truly understand, this willingness and desire to do so will go a long way towards building or maintaining a relationship.

While these seven steps sound complicated, we need to develop the habit of approaching an emotional discussion with such a process. In many such conversations, we need to do this process in a matter of seconds. Therefore, these steps need to be developed as a new reflex.

When we step into an emotional discussion, we are faced with a decision whether to react or respond. Reaction will typically damage a relationship. Responses will build the relationship. As a leader, we influence through a relationship or trust and respect. Our relationships are vital to our leadership and, in the heat of the moment, our response will set the course for our relationships.

Are you able to lean into difficult conversations? Do strong emotions frighten you or are you able to face them maturely?

The Power Of Humility

Humility is perhaps the most important character trait for effective leadership. Humility opens the door to a relationship of trust and respect, the foundation of influence. The lack of humility shuts the door to a solid relationship of leadership.

To understand humility and its power, we must first define it. Sometimes the easiest way to describe humility is to first describe what it is not.

Humility is not self-deprecation. It is not having a poor opinion of oneself or of one’s abilities.
Humility is not weakness. It is not a recognition of something lacking in us.
Humility is not being meek and mild. It is possible to have a strong voice yet be humble.
Humility is not lack of confidence. It is not timidity or being unsure of oneself.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” – C. S. Lewis

Humility is not about having a low opinion of yourself, it is about how we think of ourselves in relation to those around us. In fact, part of the Oxford dictionary’s definition of humility describes it as having a modest opinion of one’s own importance. To be humble means to have control over our pride and arrogance. Two of the most descriptive definitions of humility are 1) a high sense of emotional autonomy, and 2) a freedom from the control of the “competitive reflex.” Emotional autonomy means that we do not rely on the approval of others for our self-worth or emotional well-being.

The “competitive reflex” is that part of us that wants to “one up” the other person. When someone tells a joke, we want to tell a better one. When someone tells a story, we want to give a more exciting one. When someone asks a question, we are compelled to give an answer. When someone makes a misstatement or grammatical error, we are quick to point it out. The “competitive reflex” is always keeping score.

The word humility has its roots in the Latin word “humus” or earth. We can think of the humble person as the one that is “grounded.” Humility often has a high correlation with self-awareness and with confidence. The humble person knows him- or herself and is at peace with who they are, therefore, there is no need to “keep score.” Instead, the humble person places high value on the other person.

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” -Thomas Merton

Humility draws others into relationship whereas pride or arrogance sets up a barrier to relationship. Through humility, we allow our real person to show and be known. The real person is easier to trust. When we demonstrate true humility, we value the other person, placing high importance on knowing, understanding, and appreciating them as a person. When people are valued, that warm feeling draws them into relationship, making it easy to trust and respect the humble person. On the other hand, when faced with a person that is arrogant, full of pride, or narcissistic we most likely feel disrespected or belittled. An arrogant person is hiding the real person. This cold feeling is repelling, making it difficult to build a positive relationship. (See the article, “The Problem of Arrogance” for more.)

As we better understand what humility is and why it is important, the concept of the “competitive reflex” plays a major role in our development and demonstration of humility. How do we tame that reflex and keep it from rearing its head in our interactions with others? Here are some thoughts on growing in humility and demonstrating humility on a daily basis:

Grow in self-awareness.
Grow in self-acceptance.
Welcome and seek personal change and growth.
Be authentic, showing yourself as you really are.
Seek and receive graciously feedback and correction from others.
Be an eager learner, not an arrogant knower.
Be willing to say, “I don’t know.”
Grow in vulnerability, the willingness to be judged by others.
Value others.
Be quick to ask, “What do you think?”

“Humility is the true key to success. Successful people lose their way at times. They often embrace and overindulge from the fruits of success. Humility halts this arrogance and self-indulging trap. Humble people share the credit and wealth, remaining focused and hungry to continue the journey of success.” – Rick Pitino

Where do you stand on the continuum from arrogance to humility? How much do you value your own importance? What are you doing to grow in humility?

Feedback for the Boss

A leader has the responsibility to provide frequent feedback to each of their team members. Feedback identifies specific behavior or action and asks for more of, less of, or a continuation of the same behavior or action. When we, as a leader, observe an action or behavior by a team member, a discussion about the behavior and its impact guides future behavior. Feedback is an effective way to guide and shape behavior to align with the organization’s vision and goals.

But what should we do when we observe the behavior of our boss and feel it could be beneficial to offer feedback to him or her? Is it appropriate to provide feedback to a boss? When and how should upward feedback be provided?

There are instances when it is ill-advised to provide upward feedback. Although an effective leader always welcomes appropriate feedback, no matter what the source, there are some bosses that lack the character to accept feedback, especially from someone lower in the organizational hierarchy. These sorts of people either will not hear upward feedback or will meet it with some form of retribution. There are also organizations in which the corporate culture discourages lower-level team members from providing input up the chain. In either of these cases, offering upward feedback could be career threatening.

In most organizations and with most bosses, upward feedback could be acceptable, or even welcomed, if it is done well. Providing feedback to the boss has a different form than the three steps of feedback for peers or team members, but it does follow some of the ten tips for any feedback. Below are a few guidelines specifically for providing effective upward feedback:

Build upon relationship. Hopefully a comfortable relationship of open communication has already been established. If the boss is a good leader, he or she will have established this relationship and the two of you know each other fairly well and have frequent conversations. When this relationship is established, there is not a gulf between the two of you and the feedback conversation does not feel completely uncomfortable or out of character.
Ask for permission. When offering feedback upward, it is best received when not adversarial or perceived as an attack. You may have received or perceived an open invitation to conversation. Even in such case, it may be best to ask for permission with a question such as, “Could I mention something about ….?” Often it is beneficial to schedule the meeting at a future time with a comment such as, “Could we meet tomorrow afternoon to discuss how we will be working together on this project?”
Operate from a position of positive support. In an upward feedback discussion, make it clear that you are for and not against the boss. The tone of the conversation must demonstrate that you are interested in the success of the boss and that the feedback is intended for his or her benefit, not as a criticism or an effort to usurp.
Speak from your own perspective. Again, “you” messages often sound adversarial while “I” messages can be less so. Therefore, upward feedback is different from standard feedback in that we want to identify behaviors based on their impact on either you as an individual or on the team as a whole. As an example, “I feel most invested and creative in projects when I have greater autonomy. I appreciate your feedback and input, but I wonder if you would be open to setting a schedule to periodically review my progress together.”

If done poorly, upward feedback can feel combative or adversarial and damage the relationship with the boss. Done well, upward feedback can position someone as a valuable resource and trusted advisor of their boss. It holds the potential of improving your relationship and working situation.

Are you able to provide effective upward feedback? Are you able to receive it gracefully?

Lead With Clarity

One of the important skills of leadership is our ability to communicate. Whether it be written, verbal, or through our actions, it is our communication that guides team members, draws them into the pursuit of vision and goals, and unites them into a cohesive team. A key to effective communication is clarity, the ability to communicate in such a way that our thoughts and intent is clearly presented and clearly understood by recipients.

To achieve clarity in communications sometimes requires the development of our communication skills, especially focusing on the four C’s of clarity – communication that is centered, consistent, comprehensive, and compassionate:

Clarity results from Centered communication – Our communication must be centered or focused on the highest priorities and driven by certain objectives. Our goal in communication as a leader is to set direction and priorities, to move the organization towards accomplishing goals that define success of the organization, to unify the organization in achieving these goals and moving towards the vision, to refine the way that the organization functions, etc.

Among the great mistakes of communication is providing too much or unfocused communication. In providing too much communication, the important messages can become lost. Our communication can begin to sound like Charlie Brown’s parents – “Wah, wah, wah.”

If we feel the need to instruct team members on every minute detail, we might be perceived as a control freak. Control freaks demotivate team members through their belittling practices. Most people prefer the ability to think for themselves and to make choices within the scope of their job responsibilities as they work.

Of course, there is room for our humanity in communications. In fact, it is a necessary element to demonstrate our authenticity and vulnerability from time to time. But especially with larger audiences, clarity in communication comes with focus.

Clarity results from Consistent communication – There are two elements to consistency in communication. The first is the consistency of the message. Our view of vision, goals, and priorities cannot change with the wind. A leader who sets a new direction every month, week, or day simply frustrates team members. They lose confidence in such leadership and cannot be expected to expend effort on a course that will be dropped or altered tomorrow. Therefore, the message communicated must be consistent over time or an explanation for the change in course should be provided to keep the organization on board.

The second element of consistency is the practice of communication on a consistent basis. When the organization is left in the dark without direction, it will develop its own direction. As a leader, we have the responsibility to set or build consensus on direction and then to continually reinforce that message to keep the organization on course.

Clarity results from Comprehensive communication – Half of a message can be as useless as no message at all. When a leader is communicating key messages to the organization, he/she needs to communicate based on the recipients’ perspectives. Of course, we, as the leader, know the background for a decision, we are aware of the risks and unknowns, we have some ideas of the impact on the organization. But the audience is often unaware of these things. Our communication should speak from the audience’s perspective, answering the questions that are likely to arise in the minds of those that are reading, listening, or observing. Communication that lays a solid foundation for the actions of the organization is well thought out and clearly presented.

Clarity results from Compassion in our communication – When emotions enter the picture, recipients hear, read, or observe from a perspective that is heavily influenced by those emotions. In order to hear our message clearly, we must understand and address any relevant emotions as a part of our message. To do so requires that we, as leaders, know our audience and are able to perceive the impact of our communications on a personal level. Once we are able to do so, we can address the emotional impact in a compassionate yet forthright manner as a part of our message.

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Effective leadership relies on effective communication. We move the organization toward its vision and goals through our communication. Therefore, we cannot communicate in a haphazard manner. Our message is understood and accepted when it is presented with clarity. If you find that your communication efforts are sometimes ineffective and lacking in clarity, perhaps developing some of these skills or even doing some work on the underlying character traits might be helpful.

Does your team experience clarity in your communications with them? How are you building clarity?