Today, the concept of coaching is familiar to most people and many people might describe coaching as a conversation built around questions. But there are questions and then there are powerful questions. If, in coaching, we hope to help others think deeply and find answers within themselves, we must first ask powerful questions.

Powerful questions are those open-ended questions that get to the heart of the topic and cause the other person to really stop and think. A silent pause in response to a question indicates that either our question made no sense, or it made perfect sense, but requires some contemplation and processing to answer.

Powerful questions can be thought of as having two dimensions.

First, powerful questions have a relational foundation:

• They demonstrate our respect for the other person. Powerful questions are framed in such a way as to show that we think highly of the other person, respecting them in every way as a capable, intelligent, well-functioning creation of God.
• They demonstrate our care for the other person. One favorite definition of love is “seeking the best for the other, regardless of whether it is deserved or reciprocated.” A powerful question is presented in way that seeks the best for the other.
• They demonstrate our curiosity about the other person. Powerful questions seek to understand deeply the other person; what makes them tick. For example, they are not looking for external facts but the internal impact of those external facts.

Secondly, powerful questions have a developmental objective:

• They seek to prompt reflection. The process of considering the question might prompt conclusions and connections that are not evident on the surface.
• They might lead to discovery. In thinking deeply about a powerful question, they often result in discovering underlying beliefs, values, convictions, or capabilities that the other person had not yet found. The generation of ideas from within is a goal of coaching questions.
• They should result in ownership. As the other person, considers these powerful questions, they develop conclusions or form a plan of action that is uniquely their’s. Such conclusions or action plans have greater value than any that might be imposed upon or suggested to them.

Three principals also help in structuring powerful questions:

• Them or Me? Is this question for my benefit or the other person’s? The coaching mindset is a form of servant leadership, where we are seeking the best for the other.
• Forward or Backward? Is this question focused on the past or moving forward? Coaching is about the future.
• Building or Correcting? Does this question try to correct the other or help them build? Coaching is about growth and development.

The coaching mindset means that we build these dimensions and principals into the way we think and the way that we interact with the people around us. Whenever appropriate, we serve others by asking powerful questions.

Do you have the character required to ask powerful questions? What are you doing to build that character? What would it require from you to grow in this practice?

Here are some other articles on a similar topic: “Ask, Don’t Tell“, “Tell Me More About…“, “Ask Questions Instead of Giving Answers“