Since I am writing this on the morning of Halloween, I thought it appropriate to think about gremlins. Not the gremlins that are children dressed in costumes or the gremlins that are decorations in the neighbors’ yards. The gremlins that we are going to address here are our inner gremlins, often called saboteurs, judges, or the judging or defeating voice. A more proper name is our critical inner voice or, more simply, either the inner critic or the critical voice.

The critical voice is that subconscious voice that causes self-doubt and undermines self-confidence. It can produce feelings of shame, deficiency, low self-esteem, and depression. At the most inopportune times it whispers things like “you’re not good enough”, “you’re lazy”, “people don’t like you” or other such messages. Actually, when we hear the critical voice it usually speaks in the first person, as if you are telling yourself “I’m not good enough.” Most people have a critical voice that tells them these demeaning and defeating thoughts. Some people barely or infrequently hear their critical voice. For these people, the critical voice causes some stress and uneasiness. For other people, the critical voice is loud and incessant. When the critical voice seriously interferes with a healthy life, professional help may be required.

In his book, The Soul of Shame, author Dr. Curt Thompson labels the critical voice as shame. He attributes it to evil that is seeking to defeat us, attempting to keep us from becoming who we were created to be and accomplishing what we are called to accomplish.

While we may all hear our own critical voice, the origin of the voice is unique for each individual. Most often the critical voice is the result of internalizing a message that we heard repeatedly or in a stressful situation somewhere in our past. Perhaps the most common source is a message that we picked up in our family of origin from either parents or siblings. It might also have originated with a former boss or a person with whom we were in relationship.

The critical voice frequently shows up in stressful situations or perhaps it is the cause of the stress. For example, you are ready to walk into a meeting to give an important presentation and the critical voice says “I am never good enough. The board won’t accept my proposal.” Or you are on your way to a social gathering and the critical voice says “I am so shy. I am always embarrassed in these sorts of gatherings.” The result is an extra dose of stress in our life or perhaps even worse. Maybe it keeps us from pursuing that job opportunity or building relationships.

If your critical voice is causing stress or limiting your effectiveness, how do you overcome it? There are lots of suggested means of overcoming the effect of a critical voice. Most of them involve either quieting or embracing the inner voice. Here are some steps that are frequently helpful in quieting the critical voice:

1. Recognize that the critical voice is a universal issue. You are not the only person that struggles against it.
2. Understand what the voice is saying and its origin. When do you hear it and what is the message that it delivers? Where did that message first come into your life?
3. Understand the truth or the lie that is in the critical voice. There may be a kernel of truth but, by definition, the critical voice is telling you a lie about yourself. Dig into the message and identify the lie.
4. Understand the real truth about yourself that counters the message of the critical voice. This is an exercise in self-awareness. Once you understand the critical voice’s message, you can explore the reality of how you have been gifted, the education and experience you possess, the many instances in which you have proven the critical voice wrong, etc. Gather the evidence and know the message of truth about yourself.
5. Understand when you typically hear the critical voice and watch for it. By its nature, the critical voice is a barely recognizable whisper that shows up in specific settings. By becoming aware of those times when it shows up, you can be prepared to identify and conquer it.
6. Watch for the critical voice and be ready to correct or over-ride it with the truth. By identifying the critical voice as a lie and presenting the truth to yourself, over time you can quiet it and reduce the impact that it has in your life.

We all have a gremlin or critical voice that can keep us from achieving our full potential. If we recognize the voice and quiet it, the critical voice loses its power over us.

What does your gremlin or critical voice tell you? How loud is it and what are you doing to quiet it?