How to Deal with Character Issues when Providing Performance Feedback

One of the most important guidelines for providing effective feedback is to focus on behavior or action and the results or effects that follow. This guideline makes feedback effective because it deals with facts that can then be examined and discussed. The result of the discussion is to identify behavior that produced positive results and encourage continued development along this line or to identify the results of behavior that is unacceptable or below standard and develop a plan of action for improvement.

How do you deal with a team member who has a character issue that is causing problems in performance? What sort of feedback do you give this person in an effort to identify and turn around the character issue? Can you simply call out the character issue, for example saying, “You are rude”?

The guideline still applies, performance feedback needs to be grounded in performance and results. Calling out the character issue directly runs the risk of creating a personal battle or devaluing the person. The best solution is to follow the guidelines for effective feedback and then use the discussion as a springboard into some character coaching.

Here is an example feedback session where there is a significant underlying character issue, one in which a team member does not value other people:

You: “I need to discuss a behavior that is causing a problem in our team meetings. I sometimes notice that you roll your eyes and sigh heavily when some of the other team members provide input. This behavior causes them to feel devalued and they stop providing input. The team is most effective when we can bring together all ideas to build the best solution and each team member needs to feel that they are a valued part of the team. Are you aware of this behavior?”

At this point you may think that you have made it clear what behavior is unacceptable and why. You need to first verify that the other person understands the behavior and that it is unacceptable. A response here might be either unawareness of the behavior or some comment about the value of other people’s ideas. Some further explanation of the behavior and the results may be required. When there is a clear understanding, it is time to move to the next step.

You: “In my experience, people are sometimes unaware of the habit of rolling their eyes, but it is generally interpreted by others as derision. Since it interferes with the functioning of the team, I am asking you to refrain from this behavior in the future. I think that we have two choices for our discussion now. In either case, the end result needs to be that you don’t roll your eyes or express your disapproval of other people’s ideas in our meetings. One choice would be to discuss your plan of action to break this habit. The second choice would be for us to have a deeper discussion of what might lie behind this behavior. There may be something deeper that produces this behavior and you might be well served in understanding and working on the deeper issue. That could involve some coaching on my part to perhaps help you understand why you roll your eyes. Which direction would you prefer for our discussion? Would you allow me to provide some coaching to help you deal with this issue?”

You have made it clear that you cannot allow this behavior to continue and that a solution needs to be defined. The choice is an action plan, skirting the character issue, or confronting it through some one-on-one coaching. Coaching about character issues should only be done with permission or when invited, so the question needs to be asked.

At this point the other person needs to decide whether he/she will simply stop the behavior (a difficult thing to do in these situations) or if they trust you enough and value the relationship enough to let you help them understand the character issue and begin work at that level. In either case, you need to be clear that the behavior needs to stop and the consequences if it does not stop.

The discussion does not end here. If they choose the route of just curbing the behavior, the two of you need to define (best to let them define with some guiding questions from you) and agree to the plan of action for improved behavior. If they allow you to help them dig into the character issue, you need to agree to a specific plan for how that coaching will take place.

Providing feedback for behaviors are fairly straightforward. If someone doesn’t meet the schedule, there are implications and an action plan for improving the ability of working to a schedule. If the quality of someone’s work is deficient, there are implications of the low quality and an action plan for improvement. On the other hand, if the behavior is a result of a character issue, an action plan addressing the behavior alone may be difficult. Yet, we cannot change someone’s character and attempting to do so would be problematic without the invitation of the person. The best route for such a problem is to build a position of trust and respect in which people are ready to allow or even invite the leader to coach them to a new goal in the area of character.

How do you deal with character issues that affect the workplace? Are you able to address them in a positive way?