Call it what you will – discussion, debate, disagreement, argument, conflict, confrontation – as a leader you face the task of keeping these encounters productive for the organization and preventing them from becoming debilitating. To gain the maximum benefit, the organization wants to promote the free flow of ideas and information. To prevent damage to the organization and its people, we want to refrain from personal battles. Only with a strong culture and a lot of practice are we able to accomplish both. The leader needs to guide the organization and keep debates and disagreements from becoming conflict and confrontation.

The cardinal rule: separate the idea from the identity. It is always good to consider and build ideas; it is not acceptable to damage identities.

Culture should establish the rules of engagement. What do we as an organization believe about people and what do we believe about ideas? What is acceptable or encouraged? What is out of bounds in the way that we deal with people?

Exploring ideas, gathering the best thoughts from the organization, is generally the best route because it adds value. Gathering thoughts from a range of people provides different perspectives, perhaps even different views of truth. Building thought upon thought makes the process robust and adds value. Challenging thoughts and facts drives us to the most likely truth. Exploring together helps each participant to think deeper. And the conclusion after an energetic and full discussion is more likely to produce buy-in from the group. There may still be opposing views in the group, but everyone should be able to unite behind the group’s decision, having had their opportunity to voice their ideas and to be heard and considered by the team. Thus, a culture that values the full presentation and exploration of information without bias and hierarchy adds the greatest value to the organization.

The danger in an energetic discussion of ideas is that it can sometimes turn into a personal battle. We can lose sight of the idea under discussion and slip into the “my idea versus your idea” mode and then into a “me versus you” conflict. If we are able to separate the idea from the identity and maintain the focus on the inanimate idea, the organization wins and there are no winners and losers among the team members. If the discussion or disagreement regarding ideas moves to conflict, then someone (or both parties) falls into the winner-loser battle.

Of course, conflict is not just rooted in a discussion of ideas, it can grow out of any sort of damaged interpersonal relationship. Whatever the source, conflict needs to be resolved before it festers between the two parties and grows into conflict between their allies, departments, etc. Conflicts can sap the energy out of an organization and cause all sorts of problems throughout the organization if they are allowed to continue.

Some organizations actually have a culture which will not tolerate interpersonal conflict and pressures the participants to quickly recognize and resolve their conflict. Unfortunately, this is the great minority of organizations. There are other organizations that won’t tolerate open conflict but won’t push for identifying and resolving it. And, of course, there are organizations that relish conflict, in a “survival of the fittest” mindset.

Most organizations recognize that conflict is harmful to the organization and gets in the way of progress and productivity. Often, the responsibility for facilitating conflict resolution falls to leadership. For many people, it is scary to step into a conflict and force resolution. But avoiding conflict, a more natural human tendency, has a high cost to the organization.

An effective leader has a keen radar that identifies interpersonal conflict and steps in to encourage or force resolution. Of course, the leader, as a third party, cannot resolve the conflict. His/her role is to confront the conflict, point out that it is unacceptable, and facilitate a discussion between the parties aimed at their resolution of the issue. Stepping into conflict is not an easy task and requires courage and skill on the part of the leader to bring the parties together and to facilitate a productive discussion. Resolving conflict does not mean that the parties involved are going to be friends or like each other. But the organization suffers if the people are unable or unwilling to respect each other and to work together productively. Therefore, as a steward of the organization, the leader needs to surface conflict and see that it is resolved.

Does your organization’s culture encourage exploring and challenging ideas while protecting its people?