The process of defining and communicating the core values of a business has become more popular in recent years. But just as important is the process of defining our own personal core values. Core values are the fundamental or foundational beliefs of a person. These principles guide behavior and can help people understand the difference between what they believe to be right and wrong. Core values set priorities and guide decisions for our life.

Core values are often ingrained into who we are based on family or community values and life experiences. A small percentage of people have made the effort to think through and define their core values. Many people have some idea of what their core values are but rely on those ingrained values. Other people have a mish-mash of loosely-defined or situationally-based values, in essence not knowing or caring what their true core values really are.

As mentioned, core values guide our decisions. They make our lives more orderly or consistent in terms of where we spend our time and energy. Core values guide our priorities and serve as guideposts in life.

If you haven’t defined your core values, how might you do so? It is better not to pick out values from a list. Rather the process of identifying your core values should a process of self-discovery, with multiple steps to draw out of your inner self the values that are already there. The process of identifying your core values is not a one hour process or a one day process. As a process it requires several steps over some weeks or months. Here are some thoughts for a process. It is not necessarily a step-by-step process but following these steps in this order might be helpful.

1. Start with an open mind. Defining your core values means searching inside for what is important and what drives you. Your values are not anyone else’s values and they may not even be obvious to you. So relax, take a deep breath, and let your mind take you to your values.
2. Review a list of possible core values. The purpose is not to select your values but rather to start your mind on a discovery process, thinking about what values look like and which ones might be important to you. (Here is one sample list with more than 500 values.) Read the list through and then go back through and circle the values that develop some emotion in you.
3. Think about some people who have impacted your life or whom you admired because of who they were and what values they exemplified. List some of the values that come to mind.
4. Think about what you would like your life to exemplify. One way to do this is to picture the eulogies that you would hope to be spoken at your funeral. Another way to think about this is to picture an older you coming into your life to tell you what you did well or not so well. What values do you hear as you think about these scenarios?
5. Think back to some meaningful moments, some times when you felt particularly satisfied with what you had done or an important decision that you made. What values were you following at that time? In the same way, think back to some times when you might have been angry or disappointed by your actions or decisions. Think about the values that you might have violated that caused your discontent.
6. Think about your code of conduct. What are the driving values in the decisions that you make? What is important to you? What must you have in your life to be fulfilled? What would frustrate you? What are the values that show up as you consider these?
7. If you can do so, write a list of the important values that you are discovering. If you have difficulty in developing a list, read through the list of sample core values. Are there more that need to be circled? Highlight the ones that seem really important.
8. You may have listed or circled quite a few values but a core values statement should typically be 5-7 values, never less than three and never more than ten. If your list is longer than that (and it quite likely is), then it is time to start prioritizing. Think about the core values that you are considering and what each one means to you. Are there some that can be grouped or that simply repeat one thought? Which ones are the highest priority, in other words, the most meaningful or critical to whom you are? Watch ones are good values but not the most important to you? Work on the list, perhaps even going back to some of the previous steps, until you find the 5-7 core values that represent you and what you believe important in your life.
9. The process is not finished yet. Once you have a draft list of core values, they each need to be tested. Study the definition of each of the ones on your list. Does it ring true? Thing about circumstances or decisions where you might need to stand up for your values or, even more difficult, violate your values. What would this feel like? As you think through each of your core values and the implications on your life and your decisions, you can either verify your list or go back and revise it until it does ring true.

While your core values are foundational to who you are and how you behave, they can change over time as you move through different stages of life or as you mature and grow. Therefore, you may need to repeat this process occasionally.

Core values clarify who we are and how we behave. Developing a set of core values that is true to our life and ourselves provides a vision where we can be content. A clear set of core values makes hard decisions much easier. Of course, if we have a list of core values that is not true, we produce frustration and discontent in our lives. So it is important that we have thought through the process well.

As Mahatma Ghandi said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”

Have you defined your destiny by defining your core values?