Character – Page 2 – New Horizon Partners

Just the Way They Are

Meeting for breakfast with a friend and former co-worker recently, the conversation turned to a certain leader with whom we were both familiar. This leader had built a family of successful companies. It was easy to attribute the success of these companies to the culture and, in turn, to trace the culture to the character of this leader. The companies were all successful because the people within them worked hard to make them successful and they worked hard because they would follow this leader wherever he asked them to go. We observed that the people in all of his companies were eager to follow him because of his great leadership and that this leadership was not something that he had needed to learn. Almost in unison we both said, “The way that he leads is just the way he is.”

With so many of the great leaders that I know, their leadership feels easy to them because the way that they lead is just a natural result of who they are, or the character within them. Their leadership is easy for their followers to accept because it is clearly authentic, the way that they behave is who they really are.

What are some of the characteristics of these great leaders? Here are a few of the most important traits of some of the great leaders that I know:

They are authentic – Great leaders don’t need to learn a bunch of leadership skills. When they come to work in the morning, they don’t need to put on their leadership hat. Great leaders lead from who they are. They have characters traits that lend themselves to building relationships and demonstrating that they are genuine in caring about the about the people around them. On the other hand, authentic leaders are easy to follow because their team members know that they are genuine. Team members can trust these leaders because they know that what they see on the outside is who the leader is on the inside.

They are humble – Great leaders naturally stand out from the crowd but they don’t regard themselves as above the people around them. They are quick to give credit and show appreciation for all that is done by others. They are willing to roll up their sleeves and do their part in any task. Team members therefore feel valued as equals.

They respect and value others. – Closely related to humility, great leaders demonstrate their respect for each person. When interacting with those around them, they are interested in the whole person, both in the part that comes to work and the part that lives outside the workplace. Great leaders understand and accept the strengths and weaknesses of those around them and know what is important to them. Great leaders genuinely care about the person within each team member, so they have an interest in their family, their health, their satisfaction, and their long-term career development.

They demonstrate high emotional intelligence – Great leaders are strong in all areas of emotional intelligence – understanding and managing their own emotions, understanding the emotions of others, and building or managing relationships. This may be a natural outflow of the value that they place on others, but great leaders have a way of being aware and in control of their own emotions and are adept at finding ways to relate positively with those around them.

These four traits seem to be foundational for great leaders. Other important traits are natural extensions of these four, qualities such as honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, openness, conscientiousness, and so on. And, of course, great leaders of organizations also demonstrate high intelligence, strong common sense and wisdom, and decisiveness.

Great leaders often make leadership look easy and natural because it simply flows from who they are. If you do not yet have these same character traits, they can be developed with some deep character work.

What other traits do you see in great leaders? Where do you stand in terms of these traits?

Perfectly Imperfect

As a leader (as opposed to a boss or a manager), we often find ourselves being affirmed for our leadership qualities. These qualities, which might be our intelligence, wisdom, common sense, decision-making skills, relational skills, strategic skills, or other qualities, lead to our ability to influence. People choose to follow leaders because they recognize the character traits, skills, and other qualities that make the leader stand out and be more effective.

When we grow accustomed to this repeated affirmation, we run the danger of becoming overly focused on it. This can lead us to believe that we cannot show any failure or weakness for fear of losing the high opinion in which we are held. Even worse, some people begin to believe their own press, believing that they are indeed pretty close to perfect. No human being is perfect, and it is both a fallacy and a weakness to believe either that you are perfect or that you need to be perfect.

Understanding and embracing our imperfections is, in fact, an important character trait that does two important things that strengthen our ability to lead. First, as we recognize our imperfections, we can be motivated to grow, addressing those imperfections and seeking to grow past them. Secondly, understanding and admitting our imperfections to others makes us more relatable. Let’s take a further look at how we can lead better by recognizing and accepting our imperfections.

Benefit of Growth

One of the traits of effective leaders is self-awareness. They know their strengths and capitalize on them. They also know their weaknesses and find ways to compensate for them and to grow past them. We can compensate for our weaknesses by drawing people around us who are able to fill the gap, so to speak, taking assignments where we might be ill-suited or providing counsel or support that shores up our weaknesses.

An effective leader is also continually striving to grow. When we are aware of weaknesses or imperfections, we first prioritize our growth needs or opportunities and then develop and execute a plan for growth to fill in these weak spots in our character or skillset. But before we can grow, it is necessary to admit our need for growth.

Benefit of Authenticity

Where some might think that allowing others to see our imperfections might weaken our leadership, the opposite is true. Authenticity is one of the character traits that draws people into relationship. If we, as leaders, try to maintain an aura of perfection, we run the risk of being unapproachable. Hiding ourselves from being known by our team members builds a relational chasm that separates us. On the other hand, authentically acknowledging that we have imperfections and weaknesses demonstrates our humanity. Humans relate best to other humans, so that this authenticity, in fact, draws others into relationship.

Admitting our imperfections does not mean that we are a failure. Since all humans have some imperfections, admitting them simply means that we are admitting to be human and not superhuman or divine.

Effective leadership is built upon a relationship of trust and respect. This relationship works best when we are able to know and be known, requiring authenticity, in other words, allowing ourselves to be perfectly imperfect.

Are you aware and able to embrace your own imperfections? Are you willing for others to see those imperfections?

“Untangling Emotions” by Alasdair Groves and Winston Smith

Emotions are complex and often confusing. Emotions are our mind and our body’s way of advising us about what is happening in regard to the things that we love. Some of us fear emotions, some are ruled by emotions. The book, “Untangling Emotions”, written by J. Alasdair Groves and Winston T. Smith, is a fascinating dive into understanding emotions and developing a positive path for dealing with them.

The big idea in this book is that emotions provide us with an insight as to what we consider important, i.e., what we love or worship. Some people love their comfort, excitement, themselves, their family, success, reputation, wealth, and so on. The things that we love drive our emotions and the way that we act upon our emotions. Offering a Christian perspective rooted in Scripture, the book encourages us to examine whether the things that we love, those things that drive our emotions, are in line with the things that God loves.

The authors describe the following purposes of emotions:

Communicate: emotions communicate value
Relate: emotions help us connect
Motivate: emotions motivate us
Elevate: emotions turn us toward God

Some people react to emotions with a “spit it up” attitude, believing that emotions are everything and others adopt a “suck it up” attitude, preferring to ignore their emotions. Instead, the authors encourage us to engage our emotions to better understand them and to respond in a healthy fashion to them.

Because we have many things in our life that are important to a greater or lesser extent, our mind and body are constantly feeling a variety of emotions. At any point in time, one or several of those emotions might rise in its impact. When this occurs, we might engage in the emotion by asking questions such as the following:

Identify – Am I feeling some particular emotion? What am I feeling?
Examine – Why am I feeling this emotion? How is this emotion making me want to behave?
Evaluate – What does this emotion tell me about what is important to me? Is this emotion and this level of importance consistent with who I am and what I want to be important in my life?
Act – How might I respond to this emotion? How will I respond to this emotion?

Using this framework, the authors then walk the reader through the process of engaging the hardest emotions – fear, anger, grief, and guilt and shame. For example, many people are quick to react to anger. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Be angry and do not sin” (ESV), which indicates that it is natural to sometimes be angry, but cautions us regarding how we react to that anger. The authors point out that there is both righteous anger unrighteous anger. Righteous anger is a reaction to something like God being mocked or someone attacking someone that we love. More often we feel unrighteous anger in which someone interferes with our little kingdom of self. The process of engaging that anger allows us to examine the root, make a judgment call on its righteousness, and take action or not based on a clear assessment.

Each chapter finishes with a few questions to ponder, with some for the reader for their own processing and some for the reader that desires to help others. The book is a good read for those that want to think deeper about emotions and their impact on our lives and our relationships.

The Problem of Arrogance

One of the primary reasons for the downfall of many leaders is the problem of arrogance. Arrogance defeats leadership in many ways, especially in these two: 1) arrogance inhibits a person’s ability to learn or take in information and 2) arrogance inhibits a person’s ability to build meaningful relationships with others.

Arrogance has these two definitions in the Merriam-Webster dictionary: 1) exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one’s own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner and 2) showing an offensive attitude of superiority. Arrogance is very much the opposite of humility.

It is easy for a leader to fall into the trap of arrogance. First of all, the leader is placed in a position within the organization above others. He or she most probably has been elevated in organizational position above one-time peers, often many times. Both the position and the process of being elevated can go to one’s head, making him/her begin to believe that they are superior in some way (or in many ways) compared to others. Arrogance is a mindset as well as a character trait.

The first problem with an arrogant person is that they begin to believe that they are always correct and that they have all the answers. When someone begins to think this way, they no longer need to take in more information. They ignore or dismiss the input of those around them. By ignoring information, the arrogant person becomes just that, ignorant. They stifle the conversation around them and force others to accept their viewpoint. In doing so, the arrogant person can easily miss out on important information or alternative viewpoints, thus jeopardizing their decision-making process.

The second problem can be a corollary to the first. An arrogant person dismisses information from others and, in doing so, is perceived as dismissive of the other person. By human nature, we are not likely to build a relationship of trust and respect with a person who is dismissive of us, who shows no value for us. People only follow a leader when there is an established relationship of trust and respect. Therefore, the arrogant leader cannot inspire others, they can only rely upon command and control.

Arrogance should not be confused with confidence or self-esteem. Self-esteem is a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself. Confidence is a realistic belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. As a leader, we can be aware of the special gifts and abilities with which we have been endowed while still being open to listening and learning as well as valuing the person of those around us. Confidence is one of the character traits that make a leader effective as opposed to arrogance, which will make a person ineffective.

Arrogance is the opposite of humility. Where arrogance dismisses or devalues those around us, humility regards others as of equal value. Human value is not a function of either position or gifting.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2 (ESV)

Arrogance is a trait that can creep up on us, so we need to be aware and vigilant that it does not overtake us. If you find yourself feeling increasingly arrogant, be quick to stomp it out. Here are some possible ways to keep arrogance at bay:

Be vulnerable and authentic. Be quick to recognize and admit mistakes. Be quick to seek the input and advice of others.
Practice humility. Express the value that you see in those around you. Recognize that many of your gifts and talents are not of your own doing but are provided to you by your Creator.
Be vigilant for any expressions of arrogance. Catch yourself and examine the impact that any signs of arrogance have on your effectiveness and your relationships.
Keep a journal of daily successes and failures and successes and failures. Use it as a guide for reflection and for setting personal development goals.
Ask those that are close to you to hold you accountable. The simple act of asking for accountability will heighten your awareness.

Remember that effective leadership is built upon relationships of trust and respect. Humility is one of the traits that build these relationships and arrogance is like dynamite, destroying relationships and our ability to lead.

Do you show signs of arrogance in your leadership relationships? What are you doing to tame that arrogance?

The Character for Providing Effective Feedback

Effective leadership is built upon a combination of competency and character, with character the higher priority. Without strong, positive character traits, competencies can seem hollow to those that are called to follow. This is especially true for providing feedback. Character opens the door for providing competent feedback.

It is easy to learn the basic elements of feedback and to develop the skill to deliver these elements. Feedback identifies specific action or behavior. Feedback describes the impact of the action or behavior. Feedback requests more of, less of, or continuation of the action or behavior. Anyone that is seeking to lead others can learn these three elements and then develop the habit of watching for behavior, either positive or negative, and providing feedback using the three elements.

The problem with providing feedback that is built upon competency alone is that it often falls flat for the recipient. The old saying that “talk is cheap” applies here. Feedback is only truly effective when it is provided within a relationship and delivered from a caring heart. Effective feedback is motivated by a desire to build into the future of the organization and into the future of the individual. Without the character required, the feedback recipient will quickly feel that your feedback is just an effort to click the box or achieve self-centered goals.

On the other hand, providing feedback that is backed by character becomes evident to the recipient that the leader truly cares about the person and is seeking the recipient’s growth and success. Character provides a relational foundation for discussion and understanding so that the feedback is clearly comprehended, accepted, and implemented. Feedback that is backed by character is valued by the recipient whereas feedback without the character-based relationship is often either resented or ignored.

When we speak of the character that supports effective feedback, the traits that we should seek to build into our lives might include the following:

Caring, thoughtful, courteous, kind
Candid
Commitment to doing what is right or necessary
Faith in others
Forward-thinking
Goal-oriented, growth-oriented
Humble
Observant
Optimistic, positive
Respectful
Results-oriented
Sensitive
Sincere

Before a leader can be truly effective in building team members and providing effective feedback, they must be sure that they have and are consistently developing these character traits. With such character, development of a positive relationship is a natural consequence. With a strong and positive relationship, team members seek feedback driven by a desire to perform up to the standards expected by the leader.

Have you developed the character traits that open the door to providing effective feedback?

What’s the Story?

It is not unusual for people, when faced with conflict or crisis involving another person, to imagine a story that might explain the conflict. Oftentimes the story is an elaborate tale of persecution and very often it is false.

Some examples of this internal story-telling: a person who doesn’t get invited to a certain meeting that they feel they should attend or left out of a communication tells themselves, “They are pushing me out” or “They are trying to take some of my responsibilities” or even “They know that I’m smarter than the rest of them, and they don’t want to be intimidated.” Upon receiving some negative feedback someone might say, “He just needs to come up with reasons to not give me that salary increase” or “She always is putting me down but she doesn’t have the same standards for the rest of the team” or “He needs to find something against me because he’s afraid I will take his job.”

Why do people imagine these stories? There is something about our thought process that wants to tie up the loose ends or find an explanation for the unknown circumstances in which we find ourselves. It is difficult to simply shrug off things that happen to us, if they are deemed to have some personal importance. In these situations, it becomes almost a subconscious process in which our brain looks for possible explanations. This is especially true for people with substantial insecurities. A secure person is more capable of shrugging off a situation or telling themselves that there must be a logical explanation and waiting to find it later.

The problem that these internal stories present is the potential of acting upon an untrue story. Even if we don’t overtly act upon it, a false story can subconsciously create attitudes or actions that can have a negative impact. It is possible that the internal story then plays out in the attitude that we show in a future conversation, thus damaging a relationship or reputation.

Since these internal stories can be detrimental, we need to identify them and control them. The first step is awareness. Understand the phenomena in which our brain tries to tie up loose ends and look for the stories to pop up when we face conflict or disappointments. If we often tell ourselves a negative story, then we need to develop the habit of always questioning the story that our mind tells us in these situations. If we cannot find an explanation other than a negative story, then we must monitor our attitude in response.

What is the story that your mind tells you when you face disappointment or conflict?

A People Person

An effective leader must be a people person.

But what is a people person. Some expect a people person to be highly sociable, perhaps even gregarious. You know this type. At an event, they know everyone and make the rounds having small talk with as many people as possible.

Others might describe a people person as one with charisma, one to whom other people are attracted. This person draws others by their charm, presence, or force of personality. When this person walks into the room, people take notice.

This is not a negative view of either trait of sociability or charisma. Both of these traits can serve people well, especially so with leaders. These traits can open the door to leader/follower relationships, but they are not sufficient for building a solid and successful relationship.

There is a different definition of a people person that is truly necessary for the most effective leader. Because leadership is a relationship built upon mutual trust and respect, the interpersonal skills and traits are those necessary for building this relationship of trust and respect. People are generally not quick to award a leader trust and respect. It must be earned over time and under fire by demonstrating that it is truly deserved. A leader’s life, their character and practices, must be tested to prove worthiness of this relationship of trust and respect.

This “people person” leader must demonstrate character traits and leadership skills, such as the following, that draw people into this relationship by enabling them to build, over time and through a process, the trust and respect necessary.

Character Traits of a “People Person” Leader

They value people – A people person recognizes the value in every person. They can be described as affectionate or caring towards the people with whom they interact.
They are humble – A people person does not regard himself/herself as better or more important than those around them. Just the opposite, they are selfless or self-giving, placing the interests and importance of others above their own interests.
They are considerate of others – A people person is kind and courteous towards others. They take an interest in the person, not just the task at hand. They are sensitive to the feelings, beliefs, and emotions of others. They take the time to engage and understand.
They demonstrate faith in others – A people person is thoughtful towards others. They are willing to trust others until that trust is proven not to be deserved. They have an interest in the other person’s future and seek to help them along the way.

Some Important Skills of a “People Person” Leader

They are communicators – A people person is a communicator. They speak and write well and otherwise know how to convey thoughts and information. But equally, if not more importantly, they are great listeners. They know how to listen actively so as to draw out the full story, not just the facts on the surface, but the underlying background and emotions.
They are strong in emotional intelligence – A people person not only is strong at understanding and managing their own emotions, but also at understanding and dealing with the emotions of the other. They are able to pick up on the indicators, both verbal and non-verbal, and then to lean in to better understand and assist the other in dealing with their emotions.
They are authentic and vulnerable – A people person is able to be fully human, so that those around them feel comfortable and confident that they can relate to the leader on common ground. They are able to let their guard down and let those around them see both their strengths and weaknesses. While confident in their overall person, they are aware of weaknesses and mistakes and see no need to pretend that there are none.

With a strong bond of trust and respect, team members are quick to embrace a common vision and then to work hard together to achieve it. In such a culture, people are ready to run through walls to achieve the leader’s/team’s vision and objectives. The results achieved by such a team far exceed those achieved by a work group that is driven by a taskmaster or a group that feels it necessary to play politics and backstab each other.

Do you have the character and skills needed to build a relationship of trust and respect?

Fear of Conflict

As a leader, it is often necessary to lean into conflict. This conflict might be based on some disagreement that someone has with us or it might be a conflict between two team members.

There is great value in having divergent views and seeking truth and full information. In this effort a team might have heated discussions and disagreements. When this discussion is focused on tasks and information, it is helpful and valuable to the organization. However, when the discussion becomes personal and filled with animosity, it becomes negative conflict. This negative conflict becomes a problem for the organization because it produces the following results:

Strained relationships and personal animosity
Tense atmosphere in the team
Waste of energy
Break down of communication
Reduction in the exchange of ideas and information
Diminished trust and support
Eroded commitment to the team and organization
Decreased productivity and increased turnover

Because of the detrimental effects, an effective leader needs to prevent, resolve, diffuse, or guide the conflict into a positive outcome. This requires that a leader have both the desire and the ability to lean into the conflict.

Unfortunately, many people are unable to lean in because they have a fear of conflict. This fear of conflict can show up in a variety of forms. One reaction to conflict is to up the ante, to overpower the conflict. Another type of reaction is to submit, to attempt to placate or play nice. The most common reaction is withdrawal, to hide from or ignore conflict.

Years ago, I had a first-hand view of weak leadership in the face of conflict. The company’s executive staff was rife with conflict that frequently broke out in staff meetings. The reaction of the company president in the face of conflict was to push away from the table, fold his arms across his chest, and smirk as the conflict rolled on. Reading the body language gave some ideas of the president’s views of conflict.

This fear of conflict often rises out of past experiences. Most often the roots go back to family of origin issues in which conflict was a tool of control that became something to be feared. In many families we seldom saw healthy relationships and did not learn the skills of emotional intelligence. Conflict was allowed to become personal at great cost to those involved. Therefore we may have learned to run from conflict.

The ability to lean into conflict requires authentic emotional intelligence in all four dimensions. A person must be fully aware of their own emotions as they step into conflict, able to manage well their own emotions, aware of the emotions of others, and skilled at managing relationships. With a base of strong emotional intelligence, a leader can lean into conflict using something like the following steps:

Recognize the debilitating nature of personal conflict on the organization.
Adopt a mindset that the cost of leaning into conflict is less than the cost of letting it continue, i.e., become willing to risk moving in.
Confront conflict in an emotionally-healthy manner. Provide feedback that points out the negative impact and the consequences that future conflict will produce.
Lead discussions of resolution and relationship building.
Model healthy discussion of information and debate of facts without allowing personal conflict, demonstrating respect for all persons.

To get to the position where one is able to implement this plan may first require some introspection and self-awareness to understand his/her mindset regarding conflict and the roots of that mindset. The next necessary level of self-awareness is an understanding of strengths and weaknesses in emotional intelligence. From there, a development plan may be necessary to build the skills and ability to lean into conflict. The most important step is to begin to practice leaning into conflict and then continue building comfort and competency at doing so.

Are you a carrier or a resolver of personal conflict? Are you able to lean into conflict and help others build healthy relationships?

Resolution or Resolve?

It is the time of year when some people make New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions are often something like “I want to lose weight” or “I want to spend more time with my kids” or “I want to improve my performance on the job to get that promotion.” The words resolution and resolve both come from the root word. However, the use of resolution has often become more like the idea of a wish. People often make a resolution without a plan or a commitment to actually accomplish it. Resolve still holds the definition shown in the Oxford Dictionary of “decide firmly on a course of action,” a sense of intentionality and purpose.

Rather than simply making a resolution that is a wish, if a person really desires to change some behavior, they need to resolve to accomplish the change. This requires following one of the models of intentional change. Here is one example of an effective intentional change model:

Step 1: Identify the current state. What is the current behavior? How can it best be accurately described? For example, how can current job performance be described? Or, what is my current weight?

Step 2: Identify the desired state. How can the desired behavior be described? What are the measures for the desired state? For example, how would the desired level of job performance be described, perhaps in some level of productivity? Or, what is my desired weight?

Step 3: Identify the gap between the current or actual state and the desired state. In what ways does the desired state differ from the current state? What needs to change from the current state to achieve the desired state? For example, how would the desired level of job performance be different than the current level of job performance? Or, what is the difference between my current weight and my desired weight?

Step 4: Set goals for change. What is a goal or a series of goals that move me from the current state towards the desired state? Using the concept of SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based goals), establish some specific goals that, when achieved, move me closer to the desired state. It is generally easier to achieve a series of bite-sized goals than one large goal, so it often makes sense to set a series of sequential goals. For example, in the case of job performance, what level of productivity should I achieve in the next month? Or, how many pounds can I realistically take off in the next week or month?

Step 5: Identify the actions that will achieve the goals. What are the specific things that I need to do to reach my goals and move me toward the desired state? These actions need to be very specifically defined, including describing the actions, when they will be taken, how often, etc. For example, each morning I will close my door and work without interruption for three hours on this project. Or, I will exercise by walking two miles three days a week before breakfast.

Step 6: Develop an accountability relationship. We are more likely to remain committed and stay on track when we have someone that will encourage us and hold us accountable for actually carrying out the actions and achieving the goals. Without someone to hold us accountable, we often find excuses to postpone or cut short our action plans. A life coach is a good choice as an accountability partner; in fact, a coach can help a person with each step in this process.

Step 7: Track progress. A visual record of action taken and goals achieved helps keep the fire going.

Step 8: Celebrate success. As you achieve goals, take the time to do something concrete to mark progress. This imprints the success in our minds.

Step 9: Make the change a permanent part of your life. If this growth goal is something that you want to be a permanent part of your life, be sure that you follow the action plan long enough to build it into a habit. And then set reminders to check back and be sure that the behavior remains a habit.

Rather than simply wishing for personal growth or a change in behavior, be intentional about identifying what you want to change, achieving the change, and making that change permanent.

Are your resolutions a wish or an actual, intentional plan for change or growth?

Congruity in Leadership

Congruity is a quality of agreement and appropriateness. Where there’s congruity, things fit together in a way that makes sense. In terms of our leadership, congruity is being the same person or leader in every situation.

Leaders who lack congruity believe that they need to lead differently in various contexts of their life. For example, a person might believe that in the work context he/she must be the hard-charging, driven, command-control boss that gives out orders and expects them to be followed quickly and without question. When they are at home, they might be a caring and compassionate leader showing high empathy. And when they are in a leadership role in their church or community, they might be something different yet, perhaps the deep thinker seeking to weigh everyone’s input and building consensus. Sometimes we see a lack of congruity between when someone is leading up in the organization’s hierarchy as opposed to when they are leading down in the hierachy.

A character trait closely related to congruity is integrity. Especially thinking here of the broader definition of integrity, which is the quality or state of being complete or undivided. Integrity carries the concept of consistency of actions, values, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In other words, integrity means we act or behave in a way that is consistent with our values and principles.

When a leader lacks congruity, behaving in a different way in different contexts, there are problems. First, there is a lack of integrity. Our values are deeply embedded, and we can only have one set of values in which we truly believe. Therefore, the different ways that we show up cannot be consistent with one set of values. To operate without integrity, causes an inner conflict as our values subconsciously question our actions. Additionally, in an effort to maintain different leadership personas, they will naturally blend into each other. The people who we are trying to lead, when they get glimpses of the alternate leadership personas or a gap between our values and actions, will be unsure of who we really are and what we actually believe. Therefore, the relationship of influence is weakened.

To build and maintain congruity requires that we, as leaders, first clearly know our values. Secondly, we need to be confident in our ability to lead from our values. Then we need to transition from any inauthentic leadership styles to our true leadership. This process may cause us to re-examine our values or it may cause us to re-assess the various contexts in which we lead. If we believe that they require a different style of leadership than our true leadership, perhaps we don’t belong in those situations.

Practicing congruity in our leadership brings energy and peace to our lives. And we are most effective in our true leadership. Congruity and integrity are key building blocks of effective leadership.

Do you have congruity across your various leadership roles?