Ken Vaughan – Page 6 – New Horizon Partners

Persuade or Convince?

In reference to the great debate between Patrick Henry and James Madison in the Virginia convention considering ratification of the newly written Constitution of the United States in 1788, John Marshall, a member of the convention and later a chief justice of the Supreme Court, stated, “If I were called upon to say who of all men I have known had the greatest power to convince, I should perhaps say Mr. Madison; while Mr. Henry had without doubt the greatest power to persuade.”

While some dictionaries show a second definition that cross-references persuade and convince, the most precise definitions for the two similar words are that persuade is to win over with rhetoric and convince is to win over with facts or evidence. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines persuade as “to move by argument, entreaty, or expostulation to a belief, position, or course of action.” Dictionary.com defines convince as “to move by argument or evidence to belief, agreement, consent, or a course of action.” The big difference being entreaty and expostulation versus evidence. In the case of Patrick Henry, he was known as a great speaker who could go on for hours extemporaneously presenting a persuasive argument. John Madison, on the other hand, known as the father of the Constitution, was always prepared with more facts than anyone else could even imagine. He was ready to convince.

For a leader, communication skills are very important. The ability to persuade and/or convince team members to adopt or align with a vision and to collaborate on achieving it is a key part of leadership. Convincing based on facts or evidence is certainly preferable. There are circumstances in which facts are not available and persuasion is necessary. However, there is a danger in relying solely on persuasion. This is especially true in the case where a leader is prone to lean on persuasion, either as a form of manipulation or in the face of contrary facts. In such a case, the danger of damaged trust and respect can result in a loss of the leadership relationship, since true leadership is built upon these two character traits, trust and respect.

In your communications, do you rely on persuading or convincing of others? Do you most often rely on rhetoric or facts? Do you respond best to persuading or convincing?

Lead by Coaching

One of the primary responsibilities of a leader is to guide and encourage the growth and development of the team that they lead and the team members. An effective skill for developing people is coaching.

ICF, the International Coaching Federation, defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” Tony Stoltzfus, in his book, Leadership Coaching, defines coaching as “practicing the disciplines of believing in people in order to empower them to change.” A simple description of the coaching process is that of using powerful questions to draw out of an individual their beliefs, values, and inner thoughts and goals and their motivation and path to grow or change. Through the coaching process we, as leaders, help individuals to identify and commit to the path or future that they most desire. Allowing or facilitating the person to think deeply and define their own path to growth and development provides much more ownership and commitment than they might show to someone else’s guidance.

The coaching process, using powerful questions to draw out inner thoughts, can be useful in many areas of leadership. It is certainly appropriate in defining goals and action plans for personal growth. An individual is much more likely to be committed to a plan that they have developed. Coaching can be an effective part of the feedback process. The recipient of feedback is more likely to internalize the impact of their actions or behavior when they have played a major role in identifying the impact and defining expectations for the future. The project planning process draws greater commitment when the individual plays an active role in defining the process as opposed to simply receiving an assignment.

These powerful coaching questions can have many different purposes, including the following:

Draw out new perspectives, ideas, or solutions from team members.
Aid a team member in developing self-awareness.
Help a team member to more fully explore or develop a thought or potential course of action.
Probe for or ensure buy-in or commitment to an action plan.

On a higher level, the coaching process is useful in building relationship. A communication process built upon questions demonstrates the value and respect that the leader has for the team member. The ability to think deeply and openly share those thoughts builds trust and respect on the part of the team member. This relationship of trust and respect is foundational for leadership.

How often do you ask questions relative to give direction or instruction? Are your questions powerful and empowering or disrespectful and manipulative?

One of the Biggest Obstacles to Genuine Communication

A frequent roadblock to effective communication is the phrase, “I already know that.” A recent article on the Idea Champions’ website speaks at length about the danger of using this phrase. This often occurs when someone begins a conversation and the recipient decides to cut it off quickly, subverting any communication and denigrating the other person through the statement, “I already know that.”

The article cites five common reasons for people cutting off a conversation with the comment “I already know that.”

Impatience
Limiting assumptions
Concern about where the conversation might be heading
Self-righteousness
The listener does not trust or respect the speaker

The article suggests that the listener most often does not know the whole story. As a matter of respect for the speaker and out of an interest in understanding them, we owe it to the speaker to listen and even to pursue the conversation. To do so, the author suggests these two steps:

Pause, take a breath, and become present
In a gracious way, let the speaker know that you do understand what they are about to say – then give him or her a chance to express themselves more fully, citing several ways of doing so.

The article is a good read on communications, especially if you have ever caught yourself saying “I already know that” to a team member, co-worker, or spouse.

Leading by Listening – Part 2

Listening builds strong relationships. In the first part of this article, we focused on the importance of listening in team settings. Teams are more effective when the leader facilitates group discussions in which the entire team is working together to build a strong, shared knowledge base. In this second part, our focus is on the importance of listening in building interpersonal relationships, one-on-one listening.

Effective leadership is built upon a relationship of mutual trust and respect. Leadership is a gift given by followers only upon the development of this relationship of trust and respect. Listening is one of the most important tools in building such relationships; it is one of the best ways to demonstrate respect for the other.

In our busy lives, it is too easy to rush from one task to another and from one meeting to another, without spending the time to know and understand the people around you. When we rush past the people around us, be it team members, coworkers, or our spouse, we give the impression, perhaps only subconsciously, that they are not important enough to be heard or understood. (That might even be built on a character flaw of a lack of humility or respect for those around us.) On the other hand, if we truly desire to build or grow in relationship, we must develop our understanding of the other person. This includes an understanding of such things as what is important in their lives, where are their struggles, how do they think, how satisfied are they with themselves or their situation, etc. We can develop this understanding only through conversation, with an emphasis on listening to their hearts. This is a deeper listening than simply hearing their words but requires perceiving or drawing out their thoughts and emotions.

Even on a day-to-day basis, drawing out input from individuals on suggestions, conditions, and so forth, even just a “hey, how are you doing?” conversation, provides a feeling of inclusion and being valued. Such conversations build relationship and job satisfaction.

The basic ingredient in these efforts to build relationship is listening. This listening requires the following ingredients:

Investing the time. It does take time to stop and have a meaningful conversation with the people around us but, if it is considered an investment, it will pay back with interest over time.
Demonstrating a sincere interest. This interest is driven by positive character traits such as recognizing the value of each individual and considering relationship and the development of people as highly important.
Listening to understand. Effective listening requires the development of specific skills in which we seek to explore and discover the deeper meanings behind the thoughts and words of the other.

Do you consider listening to others to be of importance? What skills or tools have you developed, or do you need to develop, to do so effectively?

See another article on a similar subject, “Be Quick to Listen.”

Leading by Listening – Part 1

Listening builds more effective teams. Listening is a key skill of leadership and the best leaders learn to listen well.

Two of the presidents of the USA, that many consider the best, are great examples of leading by listening. George Washington, during the time that he served as commanding general of the Continental Army during the American Revolution, consistently called together his staff and leading generals, to consider the strategic moves of the army. Only after hearing from all of those around the room would Washington express his opinion and guide the group to a decision. When he became the first president of the United States, Washington continued this practice with his cabinet, drawing out their collective input on policies and decisions that he needed to make.

Abraham Lincoln serves as another great example of leading by listening. Upon his election as the 16^thpresident of the United States, Lincoln asked his major political rivals to serve on his cabinet. Thus, he was able to hear and consider a wide range of opinions and benefit from the wisdom of some of the best thinkers of his time. (For more about Lincoln and his cabinet, see Doris Kearns Goodwin’s excellent book, “Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.”)

Too often we see people in leadership positions (not necessarily fitting the definition of being a leader), who believe that they are in that position because of their intelligence or their ability to force their will on those around them. Rather than become a leader, these people become a dictator or a “know-it-all.” Rather than building their team, they cripple their team. When the leader’s voice is the only one that matters, the team can simply defer to whatever the leader says or become a group of “yes men.”

Leading by listening can be described as the practice of always seeking the input of those around us in every important discussion or decision. Leading by listening requires that the leader draw out the thoughts of those around them. Leading by listening is not just a matter of hearing but often requires active listening skills to draw out deeper thoughts.

The benefits of leading by listening are many, including the following:

Better information – Leading by listening provides better information. One of the goals of most teams is to combine the intelligence of the group and draw out and meld together the knowledge of each team member. By doing so, the team is more likely to define truth in the area of interest. The habit of listening makes it standard practice to seek every bit of information that can benefit the group’s discussion.

Better perspectives – Leading by listening can reduce bias and provide a well-rounded understanding of any given issue. For example, a team member with a financial background might provide information from a cost/benefit perspective while a team member with a HR background might think in terms of the impact on people. The practice of listening reduces the risk of decisions that aren’t well thought out.

Better buy-in – Leading by listening means that each team member has at least had a voice in the discussion. If the discussion is handled skillfully, each team member has an opportunity to contribute and can, at least, see the logic behind a decision, even when that decision is not in line with their choice. Having participated in the discussion provides a higher likelihood of buy-in, even when one has argued for a different path.

Better collaboration – Leading by listening draws the team together, providing greater unity and increasing the collaboration within the team. When the team has had the opportunity to fully participate in the discussion and decision-making, they are more likely to support the decision through the people and resources available to each of them. Of course, this collaboration and support is also dependent upon the culture of the organization.

Better development of people – Leading by listening provides opportunities for team members to develop and present information and to participate in the decision-making process. These opportunities lead to the development of valuable skills and growth for these team members, opening opportunities for advancement and further development in the future.

Better relationships – Leading by listening provides opportunities for engaging and developing understanding of the people around us, thus leading to relationship growth. More on this in Part 2 of this article, in which we focus on listening in one-on-one exchanges.

Leading by listening does not make decision-making a democratic process where the majority rules. In the end, the results of any decision are the responsibility of the leader, so the leader must have the final say in making the decision. At times the wisdom and experience of the leader might lead to a decision counter to the majority of the team or against much of the evidence presented in the discussion. The effective leader is able to make such a decision and to explain the rationale behind it in light of the group discussion. But leading by listening results in better decisions and a more effective team.

As a leader, how much effort do you put in to listening to your team? Is your team in the habit of deferring to you or waiting to “see which way the wind blows” before they speak?

See other similar articles such as “Leaders Speak Last” or “The Smartest Person in the Room?”

Good Leadership Requires an Open Mind

While managing people can be described as assigning and monitoring tasks, leading people is based on a relationship of influence that is built upon trust and respect for the leader. Demonstration by the leader of strong, positive character traits is what establishes trust and respect. One of the key traits of effective leadership is openness. American scholar and author Warren Bennis, considered by many to be the pioneer of leadership, describes openness as the ability to listen to ideas that are outside of one’s current mental models, and then be able to suspend judgment until after one has heard the ideas of others. Openness can also be described as the willingness to consider every element of “what is”.

Openness indicates an inclination to accept input from various sources and to make decisions or to make changes based on that input. Establishing openness as a character trait requires the demonstration over time of this willingness to hear, understand, evaluate, and take appropriate action based on input from sources outside ourselves. The full process must be consistently demonstrated. It is not difficult to hear input from others, but properly evaluating and changing course based on the input of others can often stretch us.

Openness keeps us and the organizations that we lead from getting stuck in a well-worn rut. It counters the NIH (not invented here) attitude. It breaks down barriers and sparks innovation and energy.

There are some human tendencies that make openness difficult, and some are especially so for personality types that tend to be leaders. Some of these tendencies are:

The fear of not being right. We grow up in a system of “right” and “wrong” answers and tend to believe that we always have the right answer.
The fear of risk or failure. Success is good and failure is bad. We tend to believe that being in control avoids potential failure.
A need for order and rules. People value routines, traditions, and established practice. Openness requires the ability to embrace doing things differently.
A reliance on logic and realism. People make sense of the logical. Sometimes openness requires examining what may on the surface appear illogical.
A limit on human relationships. Being busy doing business often means focusing on numbers and processes. Openness requires that we step away from the processes and increase our human interactions.

We can think of openness in three dimensions, all of which the best leaders exhibit. First, we can demonstrate openness about ourselves. Secondly is the ability to accept and even seek diverse input from the people around us. Finally, the third dimension of openness is seeking input from the external environment.

The first dimension, openness about ourselves, requires a strong level of both self-awareness and self-acceptance that tells us where we have the capacity or need to change some part of our character. This input might come from self-examination or from other people. Those with openness about themselves are not only able to accept input from others, but they actively seek feedback. Open leaders want to know how they are perceived and how their communication is received. When open leaders receive personal input, they consider how they can build appropriate change into their character.

The second dimension of openness is the ability to accept input from others regarding organizational direction and decisions. This openness gives team members the ability to freely voice their opinions and to provide any relevant input. Rather than people wondering “which way the wind blows” before speaking up, they know that their input will be accepted and valued.

The third dimension of openness is seeking input from the external environment. This refers to seeking information from a wide range of sources and being creative in making the connections to potential impact or implications for the organization. This requires open eyes and an open mind to recognize important input.

While there are those human tendencies that make some people struggle with openness, effective leaders are naturally open because of the other character traits they possess. If you desire to be more open, the best way to grow openness is to work on improving these other traits in yourself.

Be people-oriented. Before we can value ideas from other people, we must first value those people.
Be curious. An open mind is a curious mind; look for information and seek input and opinions.
Be forward thinking. The closed mind dwells in the past. The open mind ponders the future and its possibilities.
Be engaging. Openness draws others into an exchange of ideas.
Be inspiring. Expressing the desire for and the value of the thoughts of others makes them feel respected and lifts them up.
Be credible. Seeking the best input from all available sources and not just relying on our own thoughts gives confidence to the team that we are able to lead them to a positive future.
Be engaging. Openness infers a frank exchange of ideas that requires a dialogue of exploration and evaluation.
Be responsive. Expressing the value of the ideas and appreciation for them demonstrates the open mind and open heart of a leader.

Openness is a process as well as a choice, requiring a level of both confidence and vulnerability. It often necessitates some transformational growth. It also requires consistent practice to build an environment in which people recognize and are willing to step into the openness. It is a choice because it requires stepping out of a leader’s comfort zone. In the busy flow of business, it requires that one take time to seek input, to weigh its value, and to appropriately change course.

The culture of an organization generally reflects the character of its leadership. Openness on the part of the leader demonstrated over time develops into openness in the organization. As this openness is woven into the fabric of the organization’s culture, it breaks down barriers and encourages collaboration. The best ideas from within the organization then surface to improve products and processes. As they do so, the organization becomes a more satisfying place to work.

Are you able to keep an open mind in most situations? Where do you find this challenging?

(Note: This article, or one very similar, was originally published in a monthly leadership blog that I wrote for PolymerOhio Manufacturing Solutions.)

Leadership: Reward or Responsibility?

People have different perspectives on what leadership is. People also have different motivations for seeking a role as leader. Some of those motivations are self-focused and others are focused on others. Some see leadership as a reward, some see it as a responsibility.

For some people, the motivation to achieve a leadership role is status. They crave the respect and admiration of others and hope that it will come with the title of CEO, president, or some other leadership role.

For some people, the motivation is money. They crave more money; perhaps more than they have or more than people around them have. With higher level positions in organizations comes larger salaries and benefits.

For some people, the motivation is power. They crave the ability to give orders and make demands, the power to tell people what to do rather than being told themselves.

For some people, the motivation is simply seen as a reward for hard work or accomplishment. If they work harder anyone else in the organization, then their view is that surely they deserve the recognition of being named to some leadership role. Perhaps this is driven by some need for an assurance of self-worth.

All of these motivations listed so far are driven by self-focus. They are based on some internal need. Achieving a role that might seem to be leadership, when driven by self-centeredness is actually more of a badge to be worn rather than a role to be achieved. The person that achieves or seeks to achieve a position of leadership as a reward is not, in fact, a leader. When given a role that might seem like leadership, they continue to operate for their own best interests.

True and effective leadership is a calling to a position of responsibility. It is not focused on what the leader is or does or can do. It, instead, is a recognition of the character and ability of a person to commit to serve others. Those who lead out of a sense of responsibility operate based on the best interests for those that they lead. In leading others, a true and effective leader recognizes his/her responsibility to communicate clearly with, to develop and shape, to guide and motivate, and to care for those that have either been placed within or have sought to be within the leader’s influence.

Do you view your leadership as a reward or a responsibility? How do you best fulfill that responsibility?

Buffett’s “What Separates Successful People from the Rest”

In a recent article from Inc. magazine, the author shares advice from Warren Buffett on self-improvement. One of Buffett’s mantras is “Go to bed a little smarter each day.” Comparing it to compound interest, Buffett says that is how knowledge builds up.

In the article, the author says, “Buffett knows that the mind is the most powerful weapon to succeed in business. To continuously grow yours as Buffett does his, choose to live your life exercising your mind first!” The article goes on to describe four ways of growing your mind:

Read like crazy. Buffett is a voracious reader and typically spends 80 percent of his day reading.
Create margin to “just sit and think.” Rather than working harder or trying to accomplish a long to-do list, taking time to think allows us to prioritize and make the important decisions well.
Invest in your development. Buffett is quoted as saying, “The most important investment you can make is in yourself.”
Surround yourself with the right people. From personal experience, Buffet learned that “it pays to hang around with people better that you are because you will float upward.”

The article is a short read with a little more detail on each of these four points.

The Focus of Feedback

The purpose of feedback is to identify specific actions or behaviors on the part of a person or group in order to encourage more of or less of that action or behavior in the future so that we might mold future actions or behaviors toward a vision or goal for the future of that person or group. In other articles we have discussed the importance of feedback and described what feedback looks like. In this article we will describe the specifics of those actions and behaviors that should be the focus of feedback.

A simple “thank you” or “nice job” can have great value, but if that is where you stop, then you have missed the opportunity to shape the future. People appreciate affirmation; they might appreciate challenges. But general statements, while generating some emotion, don’t have much impact on future performance. Feedback, to be effective, needs to identify specific action or behaviors. We might identify specific actions or behaviors to be repeated or discontinued or we might identify these specifics as examples of the sorts of actions or behaviors that we want continued or corrected. Either way, pointing out specifics clicks a switch, so to speak, in the recipient’s brain, as opposed to a general statement that tends to float in and out.

We often say, “Feedback is best served warm”, meaning that the more immediately it is provided, the better it is recognized and internalized. For example, identifying the specifics of a particular presentation as the meeting ends or as you walk out the door with the presenter has much more value than feedback a day, week, or month later. Again, it is a matter of what sticks in the brain. Immediate feedback can easily be recognized and linked with the action or behavior in the mind of the recipient rather than searching the mind for a recollection of that specific thing.

Feedback that identifies specific action or behaviors with clarity can provide great benefit, but only when we also identify the impact. This impact might be positive or negative. It is best if the impact includes both your personal reaction and the link to a larger vision or goal, either an organizational vision or a vision for the feedback recipient.

Now, finally, to the focus of the feedback. As we talk about feedback, we continually refer to specific action and behaviors. The best way to demonstrate the focus of feedback is to provide some examples, including some poor examples and some better examples. Here I will focus on making it specific, with the assumption that in actual practice the identification of the specific action or behavior is the first part of a sentence or a discussion that goes on to describe personal impact and organizational impact as well as expectations for the future (see Three Steps to Effective Feedback for more on the content of the process).

Not poor feedback but rather better feedback by being specific.

Not “nice presentation” but rather “the logical flow of your slides” or “the way that you laid out the last three slides” or “the confidence in your voice” or “the stories that you told that captured our attention”, etc.

Not “your presentation left a lot to be desired” but rather “the ‘hmm’s’ and ‘ugh’s’ as you speak make you sound unsure” or “slides 3 and 5 had too much info to digest” or “it seemed like you steamrolled over Tom’s questions”, etc.

Not “nice job” but rather “I saw the way that you were careful in packing that customer’s purchase” or “thanks for spotting that out of spec part and stopping production” or “your production is up by 25%”, etc.

Not “you have a bad attitude” but rather “I noticed that you spoke to Mary in a demeaning and disrespectful way” or “I noticed you rolled your eyes when I spoke to you” or “you seem to be angry lately”, etc.

Not “you have a good attitude” but rather “I appreciated that you were the first to volunteer to stay late” or “I saw the way that you encouraged the rest of the team” or “the way that you engaged with that customer brought a smile to their face”, etc.

The more specific that we are in feedback, the better the recipient will understand the actions or behaviors that we are hoping to encourage or discourage. Specificity also makes it obvious that we are noticing and that the feedback is sincere. Therefore, our feedback will be more effective, assuming that it includes the other two steps of identifying the impact and setting expectations.

How effective is your feedback? Are you noticing and identifying specific actions and behaviors?

The Motive for Feedback

Providing and receiving effective feedback are essential elements of leadership. On the receiving end, feedback helps a leader to learn about strengths and weaknesses or what they are doing well and where they can improve. Among the traits of effective leaders are that they are lifelong learners, they are self-aware, and they have a strong desire to grow and develop. Receiving feedback feeds all of these traits.

By providing feedback well, a leader accomplishes much in terms of both building a leader/follower relationship and guiding actions and behaviors to align with long-term vision and goals. We know that feedback can accomplish much when done well but what should motivate the practice of providing frequent feedback? Here are our top five reasons or motivations for providing frequent and effective feedback to those around you in every part of your life:

#5 – Establish and reinforce a practice of communication. Certainly, communicating freely, openly, and frequently with each of your team members and with many others is important. It is impossible to have any sort of relationship without communication. The quality of our communications is a major definer of the quality of our relationships. And feedback, when done well, is one of the best and most important means of communicating. Positive communication, of course, affirms the recipient. But corrective feedback can demonstrate the value that we place in the other person. And so, communication should be part of the motivation for providing feedback.

#4 – Build a relationship of mutual trust and respect. The leader/follower relationship is built upon a relationship of trust and respect. A person might take direction or commands from a superior, but they only willingly and wholeheartedly follow a leader when that leader has demonstrated his/her worthiness or trust and respect. Providing feedback well goes a long way in demonstrating this worthiness, so this should be a part of the motivation for providing feedback.

#3 – Encourage positive actions and behaviors. Of course, one of the primary purposes of feedback is to mold actions and behaviors to fit with or achieve a longer-term vision or goal. It is easy to spot negative actions or behaviors and provide feedback. In the hectic activity of a day it is easy to overlook the positive actions or behaviors. Leaders need to develop the habit of noticing both the negative and the positive and then provide feedback. Offering positive feedback is an expression of affirmation or appreciation, and that positive feeling encourages repetition of the positive action or behavior. Naturally we want to encourage the positives, so this is part of the motivation for feedback.

#2 – Discourage or eliminate negative actions or behaviors. This is often some people’s strongest motivation for feedback. They want to stop negative actions or behaviors that lead to wasted time or money, lead to discord in the workplace, or generally detract from the mission. And, of course, we want to get people off the wrong track and on to the right track.

#1 – Help the people around you to grow and develop. By far the best, we might even say the only proper, motivation for feedback is to offer it in the hope of helping people develop. The best leaders are altruistic; their desire above all is to help those with whom they come in contact to become better versions of themselves, to grow and succeed in life. Yes, the best leaders know that focusing on the development of others has side benefits such as drawing people into the leader/follower relationship, helping them understand and pursue the longer-term vision, and so forth. But the focus and the motivation of the best leaders, first and foremost, is to help others grow and succeed. When this is the motivation, it is generally perceived by the recipient of feedback. This motivation makes it easy for the recipient to accept and take to heart our feedback, and not just the positive. When this is our motivation, to help the recipient grow and succeed, even corrective feedback, of course offered graciously, is valued by the recipient.

What is your motivation for offering feedback? How well is it delivered and how well is it received?