The book, The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead by Michael Bungay Stanier, is a toolbox for coaching individuals. The book is written for managers or leaders of organizations, but it has applicability to those in the coaching profession and to people that simply desire to incorporate coaching principles into any of their relationships.

The premise of the book is stated within the first few chapters:

• Coaching is simple.
• You can coach someone in ten minutes or less.
• Coaching should be a daily, informal act, not an occasional, formal “It’s Coaching Time” event.
• You can build a coaching habit, but only if you understand and use the proven mechanics of building and embedding new habits.

The book is built around a suggested framework for a coaching conversation that includes seven questions, including the bookends of a starting (kickstart) question and a wrap-up or summary (learning) question.

Seven Essential Coaching Questions:

1. The Kickstart Question: “What’s on your mind?”
2. The AWE Question: “And what else?”
3. The Focus Question: “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
4. The Foundation Question: “What do you want?”
5. The Lazy Question: “How can I help?”
6. The Strategic Question: “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
7. The Learning Question: “What was most useful to you?”

For each of these questions, the author provides some rationale and some advice on application. Also, interspersed with these questions are tips on effective communication in the coaching process and a process for building these questions into habits. In the introductory chapters and throughout the book, the author speaks about the human tendency to be quick to offer advice, so the habit-building exercises are intended to break our advice-giving tendencies and replace them with the habit of asking powerful questions.

The last paragraph in the book might be the most important as the author summarizes and urges us on:

“But the real secret sauce here is building a habit of curiosity. The change of behavior that’s going to serve you most powerfully is simply this: a little less advice, a little more curiosity. Find your own questions, find your own voice. And above all, build your own coaching habit.”

A coaching habit can be of great benefit in building strong relationships and helping those around us to grow. But the prerequisite is to have or to build in ourselves the necessary positive character traits such as humility, curiosity, and respect for others.

The book is an easy read with lots of good content. Recommended reading for anyone that desires to have a positive impact on other people in their lives. One caution that I would voice is that, while the author offers alternative wording for each, the seven questions can seem too much of a script for a coaching conversation. Coaching works best when it is a relaxed conversation within a caring relationship. Therefore, each person needs to take the concepts of The Coaching Habit and make it a part of their own coaching conversations.